


Bread, Butter and Sprinkles

by VeannaBlue



Category: overwatch
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-22
Updated: 2017-10-22
Packaged: 2019-01-21 07:53:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 495
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12452931
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/VeannaBlue/pseuds/VeannaBlue
Summary: A Junkrat and Roadhog one shot where our favourite Junkers attempt an art heist with yet another of Junkrat’s brilliant plans.Written for a friend, who is an obsessed Roadrat shipper. X





	Bread, Butter and Sprinkles

**Author's Note:**

> For non-Australian readers: fairybread is a popular party food that is a slice of buttered bread covered in sprinkles. 
> 
> It sounds strange but is a delicious necessity at any childhood (or adult!) birthday party.

"See that truck, Roadie? It's transporting paintings to the auction house...the type of pictures the fancy pants suits like to have hanging in their la-di-da apartments, all 'ooo look at me and my fancy painting painted by some guy who died five hundred years ago.' They disgust me. So, we're going to steal them! Nick 'em right out from under their noses. Teach those rich pricks a lesson. We'll sell them on the black market and make ourselves alot of dosh OR hang 'em up at home, spruce up the joint, use 'em as target practice, whatever ya want."

"Hmph, so what's the plan?"

Junkrat giggled manically. "That's my favourite part! The guards look like a right pair of drongos, easily distracted with the right bait. So what we've gotta do is put your rugged good looks to good use."

"What?"

"The art of seduction mate! You seduce the guards, keep 'em nice and distracted while I sneak round the back, grab an armful of art and then we leg it into the sunset."

Roadhog stared down at him impassively. "I can't do that."

"What?! Why the hell not?"

"Jamie, I'm as seductive as a drunk wombat stuck in a barbed wire fence."

"What a load of rubbish! Not seductive, my arse! Strewth mate, you're the best thing since sliced bread! No, wait, scratch that, the best thing since fucking fairy bread!"

Junkrat reached up and grabbed the larger man's gas mask, dragging him down until crazed eyes met goggles. "Now you listen to me, you are the hottest man I have ever met and anyone that doesn't think you're attractive is more than a few kangaroos short in their top paddock.”

His fingers gripped tighter, ash covered nails digging into the worn leather. "You are a sexy hulk of a man, even the bloody archer and cowboy bastards have nothing on you!"

Silence stretched between them, the air heavy with tension. Junkrat stared intently at the expressionless mask, trying desperately to convey his sincerity, no matter how hard he tried the only response he got was his own reflection staring back at him. 

For Roadhog the moment of stillness was a rare opportunity to study his partner and take in and appreciate all the small details that made the crazed pyromaniac junker beautiful to him. The fire that blazed in his eyes, the sprinkling of freckles that danced across the bridge of his nose, the few strands of hair by his ear that went against their natural growth, a small rebellion amongst the chaos, and perhaps his favourite of all, the smell of sun and smoke that clung to his skin.   
Beneath the leather Roadhog smiled. His next words broke the silence. 

"I love you."

The security guards, having received confirmation of their orders, climbed into their truck and started the engine, pausing for only a moment before driving away to glance over and smile at the two men embracing across the street.


End file.
